All of my life I dreamed of traveling to far off places. Mystical places with smells of spice and sounds of unfamiliar languages. I dreamed of visiting Egypt, Rome, Greece, India, and other far off lands. I always envision starting my journey in England. Visiting London and touring English historic sights. This would be my way of stepping a safe “toe” in to the proverbial tourist lifestyle. I figured visiting an English speaking country just to see how I handled travel would be the best way to start. Then I would venture out to the rest of the world.
Have Rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia has put that dream to bed.
A few years ago I wanted to walk the US. From Florida to California. I would travel to southern route in the winter and the northern route in the summer. Even at the time, I knew there would be no way I could even begin this journey. I couldn’t even walk a mile back then with out such pain. If I tried to walk more than a mile ( if I was having a good day), I would pay for it the next day with my knees being too sensitive to touch or my hips feeling like they were out of the sockets.
Being an athlete previously, a woman who ran 5 to 7 miles every day and then did power yoga after that…. well, it still baffles me that I can no longer be what I was.
I used to have patients come in an complain about Lupus, RA, Fibromyalgia and other painful conditions. I would just think, ” well, they just are not trying hard enough.”
What an ass I was. In the athletic community, no pain, no gain is more than a saying. It’s a way of life. I would push through fatigue, joint pain, back pain, mensural cramps, dizziness, the flu. Running was Life for me.
It was a fight to give it all up. I am an overachiever who can no longer achieve. I think I finally cane to terms with this fact two years ago. And now I have come to terms with the fact that I will probably never travel. I have only been out of the US twice. Once as a child we took the train to Canada to visit my aunt. And once as an adult my husband and I went to Vancouver when we lived in Seattle.
My husband has a solution to my travel problem. He suggested that I watch walking tour videos on my tablet with headphones on. If I emerged myself into what I am watching, it may feel like I am there.
So I started with London. So far it’s fun. My husband and I watched a walking tour of Pompeii. It was educational as fun. I think it was better than being there because I was warm, safe and dry at home yet I got all the best of travel while at home.
I now have a new hobby. The only downside is that I keep falling asleep 20 minutes in or I zone out. It’s helping me work on my concentration issues. Plus, when my anxiety gets bad, these travel videos take me away from that, well, most times.
I am so very thankful for people who upload these videos to YouTube. I don’t feel so isolated.
I still have yet to hear form Social Security on my hearing. I looked online and it says a decision has been made on my hearing and they are working on getting me the answer.
The waiting it terrible. My heart is in my throat.